I'll Take Authenticity Over Target and Starbucks Any Day

Last week I got vulnerable and wrote about my struggle of being a "doer" & "just" a housewife. 

If you missed the post and want to catch up, you can read that here. 

Since writing that post, 

I've been thinking about the importance and beauty of being vulnerable, real, and authentic with those around us. 

I believe too much of our worlds are forged through the lenses of what we want people to see and believe about us. Instead of being real and posting our struggles in hopes of finding encouragement from others who have similar stories; we pose with our painted on smiles, Starbucks cups, & Target shopping carts. Lets be real, behind all of the Instagram filters and perfectly posed pictures we are broken people with hurts, struggles, and discouragement. Things aren't always as they seem. 

Now don't get me wrong, not everything we write, post, & talk about has to be vulnerable and raw, because who wants to read the heavy all day long? Not me! I'm not saying you shouldn't post Starbucks and Target pictures or ones of your kids in their designer clothes, go for it! What I am saying is, what if for every 4 perfectly posed pictures, we posted one vulnerable one? One letting people know that our lives aren't perfect and that we're human too. One letting others know that the struggles they're facing and the hurt they're dealing with aren't just theirs to walk through. One letting people see who we really are and what some of our hard days look like.

  One letting people know that they are not alone. 

Too often satan drills in our minds that we're the only ones who face ____________ (fill in the blank with your struggle, discouragements, & hurts) and we forget that others have similar stories and walk similar paths. 

If there's anything I want you to know when you open this blog it's these two things: 

First, it's that you will find vulnerability and authenticity here. Will I only ever write heavy, thought-provoking posts? No ... because like I said, no one wants to read the heavy stuff every day. But you will find a girl who has daily struggles, many hurts, and more weaknesses than she lets on. You will stumble upon posts that talk about my battle with anxiety, my daily struggle with "doing" and feeling good enough, and the constant strength I have to pull from Jesus to overcome my self-esteem issues. 

You will find me being real. Being genuine. Being authentic.  

Second, I want you to know that you, yes YOU, can ALWAYS be vulnerable and real with me. If God has given me anything in life, He's given me an ear to listen to people's hurts and struggles. I know He's given me that for a reason. Maybe you are that reason. I want you to know that you can share your hurts and struggles with me. You can tell me your weaknesses and your pains. I want you to know that I am here for you. I want to pray for and encourage you. I want you to know that you are loved. 

Mostly I want you to know that you are not alone. 

You are never alone.

>>> "Share each other's burden's, and in this way obey the law of Christ." -Galatians 6:2 <<<

.... So You're "Just" a Housewife

About 1.5 to 2 years ago I told my husband I didn't think I could ever be a housewife. Before you start glaring at me if you are one, let me explain. I'll just be blatantly honest ... one of my biggest blessings/struggles is DOING. I'm a perfectionist and an overachiever. I always have been and I'm positive I always will be. I like to do. Do this, do that, & do e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g. else, because of what it does on the inside for me. It makes me feel accomplished. It makes me feel worthy. It makes me feel good enough. 

You don't have to tell me, I already know ... the Bible tells us that our worth is found in more than just who we are on the outside and what we do. Like I said, it's a struggle people. 

It's funny how we often find ourselves in the very situations we say we won't be in. If you ask me, God has a way of making us bite our own tongues. I'll give you one guess as to what my current job status is ... you guessed it, I'm a HOUSEWIFE.

Since quitting my job and becoming a housewife, I've heard some of these remarks more times than I can count: (Enjoy the responses I'm thinking in my head while said remarks are stated)
"So you're just a housewife?" Why yes, yes, I am JUST a housewife.
"Then WHAT do you do all day?!"  Well, I don't sit around eating bonbons while watching season 57 of Days of Our Lives if that's what you're thinking!!
"When are you going to find a job?" Like I've told you and every other person 23 times before: THIS is my job.. just because I don't slather on make-up and get in my car to drive to a work place, doesn't mean I don't do a job every day!

I'd be lying if I said these words didn't bother me and that it's been an easy adjustment. Often times I struggle with the mundane feelings I get from doing the same things every single day ... make the bed, fold the laundry, put the dishes away, make dinner, etc., etc., etc. Those things seem never ending and it's really hard to be content with where I am some days.

It's easy to feel like I'm not accomplishing much and my day-to-day tasks don't have purposeful meaning. But the other day I was working on said mundane tasks, when I felt so strongly in my spirit these words:

FIND JOY IN THE MUNDANE. 

Of course they were hard to swallow ... because really, what joy is there in scooping the litter box for what seems like the 85th time this week?? I'm thinking, okay God, if You want me to find joy in scooping the litter box or taking the garbage out, You're going to have to help me, that's for sure! But I know those words came from Jesus and for that I have to trust Him and the lesson He's trying to teach me.

I feel like there are so many teachable moments throughout our day-to-day lives. So many moments that God wants to speak to our situations and lighten our hearts with His words. He knew just what I needed to hear in that moment and for this season of life. Maybe it's what you need to hear to -- to find joy even in the mundane, every day, grind of life. To trust that He has you and knows where you are at this moment. To believe that what you're doing has meaning and purpose.

For the one, who like me, is a do-er and struggles with finding joy in the mundane there are so many lessons I feel like I could hone in on, on this post, for you and for me that God has been revealing as I've been writing. Like finding joy, self-worth and value, trusting Him; but I feel like He's been shouting this one at me these last few days and I need to share it. If you don't take anything else away from this post, at least take this 

>>>>>>>> <<<<<<<<<

Now That the Olympics Are Over + Some Observations

Well friends as of last night's closing ceremonies, the Olympics are officially over and I'm already counting the days until 2020 when they're on again. HA! Anyone else go into mourning when the Olympics finish up? It's been a good 2 weeks!!

But, now that the Olympics are over ...

I might actually do more than sit on the couch for hours on end.

The T.V. will no longer be on for 12+ hours every day-- NO, I was not sitting there for that long.. they played in the background.

The Olympics being on can't be my excuse for no thought on dinners.. Okay, who am I kidding.. it isn't the Olympics, cooking just isn't my thing!

I'll hopefully go to bed at a decent time and wake up less sleepy in the mornings!!

We can start taking evening walks again .. taking 115 steps a day just isn't cutting it.

Our 2-3 days a week of nightly fishing can commence .. I've missed fishing!!

One word: PRODUCTIVE. Maybe that'll happen again.

I won't be crying as often .. seriously, every time I saw an athlete cross a finish line/stand on the podium I was in tears.. I'm a softy, what can I say?!

And for some Olympic observations/questions I'm left asking ... 

HOW do the beach volleyball girls/guys stand the sweat + sand combo?! It drove me crazy just seeing it on them.

I got to thinking about the Equestrian horses and their transportation to the Olympics.. obviously they're taken by boat, right? But the thought of a horse on an airplane cracks me up!

I'm positive that Golf is the most boring Olympic sport to watch .. sorry if you like that sort of thing.

Next time the Olympics are on I will be almost 31 .. HOW is that possible?!

The Olympics games in 2020 just won't be the same without Michael Phelps swimming in them.

I will NOT miss the same commercials playing over and over and over.

Some of these people have pretty cool last names .. Kromodijojo & Akinradewo

I can't imagine how much a country actually spends to host the Olympics.. I'm not sure I want to know.

If you like our family picture then you should go find me on Facebook and watch our promo video; I promise you won't be disappointed!! Are you wondering why we're dressed so wacky?? Every Olympic season we have an Olympics party. We each choose a country + sport and watch the opening or closing ceremony while eating delicious food and dressing ridiculously. This year I was a tennis player from Brazil, out of request from my nieces .. maybe next time I'll be an athlete from Djibouti .. do I even know where it's at? Nope.. but the name sure sounds fun and Lord knows I've got a big one. HA!

Happy new week, friends & happy efforts at being productive! 

.. When You Find Yourself THERE ..

Have you ever listened to a message, read a book, or watched a movie and couldn't get enough of it so you had to listen/read/watch it on replay over and over and over because it spoke directly to your heart and the season you're currently wading through? ... 

I listened to this message by Steven Furtick for what seems like the 20th time this morning and I could easily rewind and listen to it again and again. It's just THAT good. 

     In the message Pastor Steven uses Elijah's story from 1 Kings 17 -- the one where Elijah prays for the rain to cease for 3 years and how God used Elijah's prayer to bring about a drought in the country of Zarephath; Elijah meets a specific widow sent by God whose son is dying because of the drought; God uses the widow to minister to Elijah, as He prepares Elijah to minister to her and ultimately heal her dying son, THERE. .. I promise the full story makes more sense than my quick rendition... if you'd like to read it for yourself you can do so here. 

I believe God's point in 1 Kings 17 was to show Elijah (and us!) that He will find himself in places and seasons he doesn't expect to be in life, but to trust that God has him THERE for a purpose. Had Elijah not been in Zarephath at that time, at that specific well, looking for water from that specific widow, He wouldn't have been used by God to bring about healing for the widow's son. Elijah HAD TO BE THERE for all of this to play out the way God meant for it to... 

Do you get where I'm going with this -----------------------------

Whether your "there" is that you've found yourself waiting for God to bring your significant other into your life and it's feels like it will never happen; you're working a 9-5 job that seems pointless and you're miserable; you're facing heartbreak and hurt over a broken relationship; or your longing/praying for something that seems impossible and there aren't many clear answers.. 

Like Elijah, we will all, at some point, find ourselves in seasons of being "THERE"

From the mouth of Pastor Steven:

"THERE is somewhere that you have to be.

It has to be a part of your journey. 

You have to be THERE. 

THERE you will see Him." 

Friends, if this at all resonates within you, hear this truth --

God has you THERE for a purpose .. a purpose far deeper than yourself; far deeper than your own blessings and benefits. You aren't there out of coincidence, mishap, or chance. You didn't stumble there randomly. You are "there" for a DISTINCT REASON. He knew before you knew, that you would one day be there. It's THERE that He is preparing you for a deeper purpose and a higher calling. It's THERE that He is growing your faith and molding you into a vessel for Him. It's THERE that He is moving within you, ministering to your heart, so that you can minister to another who walks a similar path in the future. 

He knows where your "there" is, because HE IS THERE.

Hearing God's Voice

     I've found myself awake throughout the night, multiple times a night, for the last several nights. Okay actually lets be real here... it's been the last several MONTHS of nights. I honestly couldn't tell you the last time I was able to sleep through the night. I wake up because I hear a noise or I need to use the bathroom and then it's all downhill from there... my mind wanders and I start thinking of all the things that are on my heart and troubling my spirit. Many times I've grabbed my phone, clicked open 'Safari', and found myself scrolling through Facebook or reading random blogs.
     I think if we're being honest, that's become our default these days, even in the dead of night when we should be sleeping... "oh I have nothing to do, might as well scroll through Facebook or Instagram for the 107th time today" never mind asking yourself the question of "why am I really awake & why can't I seem to fall back asleep?" .. are ya with me on that or am I the only one that does this even when I tell myself I won't (insert hands over eyes monkey emoji here) .....

     As I sit here and really begin to think about it, like literally right now I'm mulling it over in my head, we (lets change that 'w' to 'm' for ME .. I'm talking about myself here!!) fill so much of our days with busyness and nonsense white noise that we've seen or heard multiple times. Silence and stillness are a thing of the past ... t.v.'s are always on, music is constantly playing in the background, we're texting 5 different people, our days are completely full ... all of this so that we don't find ourselves sitting in

                                                                                           S I L E N C E.

     There's something intimidating and overwhelming about silence. Well, at least to me there is. I dare you to put your computer/iPad/iPhone/Galaxy 74/whatever it is your holding down, turn the TV/music off, and just sit for 5 minutes. Right now, really, go try it .....

                              Did you do it? How was it? Was it as difficult, awkward, & kind of intimidating for you as it is for me? Just me? ... Okay, moving on.

     I've found that with silence comes the perfect time for God to whisper to me, a chance to hear His voice, the perfect opportunity to close my eyes and really focus on what He's trying to tell me. But if you're anything like me I babble on when I pray, ask God to speak to me when I'm done, don't hear anything for the 3 seconds that I'm sitting silent and still & so I move on and begin to drown out the beauty of the silence with my phone, computer, tv, washing machine, etc. I've heard it so many times, and have even thought/said it myself, that it's like God doesn't speak to us anymore, at least not how He used to speak in the Bible.

BUT WHAT IF WE'RE WRONG . . . 

     Perhaps our problem isn't that God doesn't speak to us anymore, perhaps it's that we're missing His voice because we're filling our days with so much busyness/white-noise and He can't break through to get our attention. Maybe my problem at night isn't that I need to use the restroom even though I just did 4 hours before that or that I heard a noise and now I can't fall back asleep ...
     maybe it's that God has to use these 2 things every single night to wake me up because it's the only time I'm laying still, He has my full attention, & is finally able to speak to me ... in the silence. . .