He Gave Me a New Heart

Ehh mhm, this is your warning: post is lengthy. If lengthy, wordy posts aren't your jam, feel free to click the "x" up there. But I think (without sounding biased) that this is worth the read :)

picture taken from Pinterest

Has someone ever given you something that you didn't even know you needed or wanted?? Something that was so beneficial for your life that you couldn't imagine living without it, now that it's been given to you? 

     Over the last year I can honestly say that God has slowly given me something that I desperately needed and I didn't even know I wanted.

He has given me a new heart. 

No, I'm not talking about a literal beating in my chest, need surgery for it, kind of heart. I'm talking about the kind of heart that He longs for us to have. The kind that ONLY HE can give. One that is full of grace and compassion. One that strives to build each other up instead of tearing others down and one that longs to speak life into others lives. One that recognizes the sin that most entangles him, yearns to flee from it, and strives to be more like Jesus. This is the kind of heart He's given me and I am so thankful.
     I hope and pray this doesn't come off as arrogant or proud. If anything, I'm asking God to keep my heart from those two things exactly. The reason I'm writing is this: like I've shared before, my desire is to be real and vulnerable with you. I want to let you see a side of me that I am not proud of nor admire about myself. Why? Because I want you to know that I am a real person with ugly sins who desperately needs Jesus' grace and forgiveness on the daily. I want you to know that you are not alone in your struggles. And most importantly I'm here to remind you that no matter how great the sin or how damaged the heart, God can make you new. 

2 Corinthians 5:17 references that exact thing:

"Now we look inside, and what we see is that anyone united with the Messiah gets a fresh start, is created new. 

The old life is gone; a new life begins!" 

(The Message version)

I feel that I am a living testimony of the above Scripture. God has made me new. I so desperately needed to be made new. You see, all of my life I have had such an ugly heart and tongue. For as long as I can remember, I have struggled with gossip and tearing others down. I've always been quick to join in on negative conversations and giving my two-sense about someone came easily. Gossip has gotten me in trouble a time or twelve two and I've vowed to be and do better. That lasted a day or two and then I always fell back into my old habits. Anyone agree that habits are easy to make and very hard to break?? .. especially when they've been something you've participated in for years and years!

MANY verses throughout Scripture including passages in Proverbs and James 3:1-12, talk about our tongue... how ugly they can be, what damage they can do, & how difficult it is to tame them. God put those in there because He knew we would need them for reference and as reminders. He knew how much of a struggle our tongues would be.

I'll be the first to admit that gossip is a tough one to overcome! It's easy to join in when others are talking and much more difficult/sometimes awkward to not participate. It is "fun", enticing, and seems harmless at the moment. I'm sad to admit that gossip has been like sweet music to my ears more often than not. Fortunately that's just what satan wants us to feel and think when we're in the midst of it. He's good at making gossip look inviting and enjoyable, when it's really heart-threatening and terminal. He's also good at pulling the wool over our eyes and convincing us that what we're doing really isn't that bad. When in fact it is. Gossip and back-biting is really that bad. It is ugly and it is never God-honoring. We have to remember that Scripture (John 8:44) says satan is the father of lies. He does in fact want us to believe his voice and give in to gossip because it is pleasing to his ears. Agh, that just makes me sick .. when I give in to gossip (or whatever sin that entangles you), I'm pleasing satan and his army. I DO NOT WANT TO PLEASE SATAN AND HIS ARMY!!!

Although I didn't have a drastic turning point in this journey, I did have an "ah ha!" moment last week pertaining to all of this .. I was sitting out on my front porch having my quiet time, reading through Scripture, & reflecting on who Jesus is calling me to be when I saw and felt it clear as day.. JESUS HAS GIVEN ME A NEW HEART. Tears flooded my eyes and I began verbally thanking God for what He has done for and to me. My walk with Jesus and our time together has grown immensely in the last year. Slowly He's been revealing to me the things I do that disappoint and grieve him. I'm convinced that my daily, repetitive quiet time with Him is the reason I am aware of this sin and am so desperately striving to be better. I didn't even know I needed a new heart, but He knew. Jesus, full of compassion and new beginnings, knew just what I needed. Writing out these words and praying them over and over has done (and continues to do) a number on my heart:

"Father, reveal to me everything that I do that disappoints and grieves your Spirit. Show me Father, HOW I can be more like you. Help me to be a better reflection of You. Make me more like Your Son, Christ. "

Can I tell you a secret incase no one told you today?? You don't have to give in to satan and his desires anymore! Whether it's gossip that you struggle with or another sin, today can be your day of a fresh start. Starting over. A new heart. Am I saying that once you've been given a new heart you'll never struggle with said sin again? Of course not! You are human and until you get to heaven, you will be battling against satan and his army. I will too. But if you know Jesus then you have the victory and power through His name to overcome the desire to give in and the opportunity to be made new. It won't always be easy and it won't be convenient, but it will be worth it. Because Jesus is worth every inconvenience and every difficult moment. I believe in you and more importantly our Jesus believes in You. After all, He did die to make you (and me) new. 

I'll Take Authenticity Over Target and Starbucks Any Day

Last week I got vulnerable and wrote about my struggle of being a "doer" & "just" a housewife. 

If you missed the post and want to catch up, you can read that here. 

Since writing that post, 

I've been thinking about the importance and beauty of being vulnerable, real, and authentic with those around us. 

I believe too much of our worlds are forged through the lenses of what we want people to see and believe about us. Instead of being real and posting our struggles in hopes of finding encouragement from others who have similar stories; we pose with our painted on smiles, Starbucks cups, & Target shopping carts. Lets be real, behind all of the Instagram filters and perfectly posed pictures we are broken people with hurts, struggles, and discouragement. Things aren't always as they seem. 

Now don't get me wrong, not everything we write, post, & talk about has to be vulnerable and raw, because who wants to read the heavy all day long? Not me! I'm not saying you shouldn't post Starbucks and Target pictures or ones of your kids in their designer clothes, go for it! What I am saying is, what if for every 4 perfectly posed pictures, we posted one vulnerable one? One letting people know that our lives aren't perfect and that we're human too. One letting others know that the struggles they're facing and the hurt they're dealing with aren't just theirs to walk through. One letting people see who we really are and what some of our hard days look like.

  One letting people know that they are not alone. 

Too often satan drills in our minds that we're the only ones who face ____________ (fill in the blank with your struggle, discouragements, & hurts) and we forget that others have similar stories and walk similar paths. 

If there's anything I want you to know when you open this blog it's these two things: 

First, it's that you will find vulnerability and authenticity here. Will I only ever write heavy, thought-provoking posts? No ... because like I said, no one wants to read the heavy stuff every day. But you will find a girl who has daily struggles, many hurts, and more weaknesses than she lets on. You will stumble upon posts that talk about my battle with anxiety, my daily struggle with "doing" and feeling good enough, and the constant strength I have to pull from Jesus to overcome my self-esteem issues. 

You will find me being real. Being genuine. Being authentic.  

Second, I want you to know that you, yes YOU, can ALWAYS be vulnerable and real with me. If God has given me anything in life, He's given me an ear to listen to people's hurts and struggles. I know He's given me that for a reason. Maybe you are that reason. I want you to know that you can share your hurts and struggles with me. You can tell me your weaknesses and your pains. I want you to know that I am here for you. I want to pray for and encourage you. I want you to know that you are loved. 

Mostly I want you to know that you are not alone. 

You are never alone.

>>> "Share each other's burden's, and in this way obey the law of Christ." -Galatians 6:2 <<<