Understanding Suffering through the Story of Naaman

During my morning quiet time I've been reading through various books of the Bible. I've developed a fascination with Elisha's character so I've recently found myself in 2 Kings. I flipped open to the chapter/verses I was due to read for the day and stumbled onto 2 Kings 5:1-19, the story of Naaman's healing. 

Naaman was considered a mighty warrior (NLT version) and yet he suffered and carried with him the physical burden of leprosy. I've read/heard that leprosy is painful, crippling, & deeply lonely. Can you imagine the physical and emotional toll this disease had on Naaman's body and life? 

Well, "it just so happened" (those " " are code for it wasn't a coincidence at all! God set this up!) that Naaman's wife's maidservant knew of a Godly-man (Elisha) who was known for having a prophetic spirit and healing hands. This news got passed on to Naaman and you'd better believe he wanted to see for himself what Elisha could do. Naaman gathered himself and his servant and ventured out to seek the man who could bring him physical healing through the power of God. In the end of those 19 verses, Naaman did in fact find healing from His leprosy, but I discovered that he found something much deeper and more life-changing than physical healing.

Naaman found God.

2 Kings 5:15 says, "Now I know that there is no God in all the world except in Israel." His suffering through leprosy, his wife's maidservant, his encounter with Elisha, & his physical healing ultimately led to a deeper realization and life change.  

Naaman found God and suddenly his journey of suffering had purpose.

I was overwhelmed (and still am!!) when I realized that his physical suffering/healing ultimately led to a new and deeper understanding of the God of Israel. And then I got to thinking.. what if Naaman never would've walked through leprosy .. he would've never had a reason to go to Elisha .. maybe He would've never had an encounter and understanding of God like He did, had he not been "handed" the leprosy card. Naaman's suffering carried a much deeper purpose and calling than he probably understood while He was walking through it. His suffering led him to understand who God was.

With tears in my eyes, suddenly this story made perfect sense to me. God brought my heartache and suffering into focus and He spoke these precious words to me:

Your suffering comes with a deep purpose and a vast calling. 

I am confident in saying that God will not allow you and me to walk through a season of suffering and pain, without having a purpose for it (we have Naaman's life, and so many others, as an example of that). And I believe that He will never let your suffering go to waste. I know what you're thinking, that it's easy for me to say this to you, because I'm me, not you, and I'm not walking through the suffering that you're facing and have faced. You're right, I'm not walking through your suffering and I don't know what it's like. But can I tell you something? It really isn't easy for me to say these words. Because I've been walking through my own suffering and "wilderness" for quite some time now. I know the weight of suffering (no matter what kind) and the toll it takes on your heart, body, & spirit. I know the days of agony, the nights of loneliness, and the thousands of tears that are shed over pain that doesn't seem fair. I know, sweet friends, I know. But if there's one thing I've learned from my own suffering and from the suffering of Naaman in 2 Kings 5, it is this..

God gives purpose to our pain.

After I finished reading, journaling, & picking my jaw up off the floor because I couldn't believe the Truths that God was revealing to me, I began to pray. I prayed for the things I had just read and learned about and I prayed for the journey of suffering that I've been walking through. I asked God to show me the purpose behind my suffering and what I could do about it for His glory. I asked Him why we walk through suffering ... I felt these 3 things on my heart:

1. To grow our faith
2. To know and experience Jesus in new & deeper ways
3. So that we can minister to others who walk through similar journeys

When I finished praying I thought about those ^^ 3 things that God had just spoken to me. The third one boldly stuck out to me! I love that we serve a God who gives purpose to our pain and allows us to rise above the suffering that we've walked through so that we can relate and minister to others who are walking similar paths. I love that He doesn't allow our pain to go to waste. And that He equips us to minister to others through experience. It's amazing that we serve a God who births redemption into our stories of suffering and we see His hand in them, as He brings others into our lives who are walking what we've walked. I love that our God is a personal, faithful God and that He does not leave us in the midst of suffering, but draws nearer to us so that we can experience Him in new ways. And I love that He has given us stories like Naaman's to relate to, speak through, & encourage us along every day.

I'll leave you with one last Truth that I wrote into my Bible next to Naaman's story:

God allows us suffering and pain for an inward growth and an outward ministry.

I love you friend, I'm always here for you, and I pray these words are an encouragement to your weary soul today and the days to come. XO

He Gave Me a New Heart

Ehh mhm, this is your warning: post is lengthy. If lengthy, wordy posts aren't your jam, feel free to click the "x" up there. But I think (without sounding biased) that this is worth the read :)

picture taken from Pinterest

Has someone ever given you something that you didn't even know you needed or wanted?? Something that was so beneficial for your life that you couldn't imagine living without it, now that it's been given to you? 

     Over the last year I can honestly say that God has slowly given me something that I desperately needed and I didn't even know I wanted.

He has given me a new heart. 

No, I'm not talking about a literal beating in my chest, need surgery for it, kind of heart. I'm talking about the kind of heart that He longs for us to have. The kind that ONLY HE can give. One that is full of grace and compassion. One that strives to build each other up instead of tearing others down and one that longs to speak life into others lives. One that recognizes the sin that most entangles him, yearns to flee from it, and strives to be more like Jesus. This is the kind of heart He's given me and I am so thankful.
     I hope and pray this doesn't come off as arrogant or proud. If anything, I'm asking God to keep my heart from those two things exactly. The reason I'm writing is this: like I've shared before, my desire is to be real and vulnerable with you. I want to let you see a side of me that I am not proud of nor admire about myself. Why? Because I want you to know that I am a real person with ugly sins who desperately needs Jesus' grace and forgiveness on the daily. I want you to know that you are not alone in your struggles. And most importantly I'm here to remind you that no matter how great the sin or how damaged the heart, God can make you new. 

2 Corinthians 5:17 references that exact thing:

"Now we look inside, and what we see is that anyone united with the Messiah gets a fresh start, is created new. 

The old life is gone; a new life begins!" 

(The Message version)

I feel that I am a living testimony of the above Scripture. God has made me new. I so desperately needed to be made new. You see, all of my life I have had such an ugly heart and tongue. For as long as I can remember, I have struggled with gossip and tearing others down. I've always been quick to join in on negative conversations and giving my two-sense about someone came easily. Gossip has gotten me in trouble a time or twelve two and I've vowed to be and do better. That lasted a day or two and then I always fell back into my old habits. Anyone agree that habits are easy to make and very hard to break?? .. especially when they've been something you've participated in for years and years!

MANY verses throughout Scripture including passages in Proverbs and James 3:1-12, talk about our tongue... how ugly they can be, what damage they can do, & how difficult it is to tame them. God put those in there because He knew we would need them for reference and as reminders. He knew how much of a struggle our tongues would be.

I'll be the first to admit that gossip is a tough one to overcome! It's easy to join in when others are talking and much more difficult/sometimes awkward to not participate. It is "fun", enticing, and seems harmless at the moment. I'm sad to admit that gossip has been like sweet music to my ears more often than not. Fortunately that's just what satan wants us to feel and think when we're in the midst of it. He's good at making gossip look inviting and enjoyable, when it's really heart-threatening and terminal. He's also good at pulling the wool over our eyes and convincing us that what we're doing really isn't that bad. When in fact it is. Gossip and back-biting is really that bad. It is ugly and it is never God-honoring. We have to remember that Scripture (John 8:44) says satan is the father of lies. He does in fact want us to believe his voice and give in to gossip because it is pleasing to his ears. Agh, that just makes me sick .. when I give in to gossip (or whatever sin that entangles you), I'm pleasing satan and his army. I DO NOT WANT TO PLEASE SATAN AND HIS ARMY!!!

Although I didn't have a drastic turning point in this journey, I did have an "ah ha!" moment last week pertaining to all of this .. I was sitting out on my front porch having my quiet time, reading through Scripture, & reflecting on who Jesus is calling me to be when I saw and felt it clear as day.. JESUS HAS GIVEN ME A NEW HEART. Tears flooded my eyes and I began verbally thanking God for what He has done for and to me. My walk with Jesus and our time together has grown immensely in the last year. Slowly He's been revealing to me the things I do that disappoint and grieve him. I'm convinced that my daily, repetitive quiet time with Him is the reason I am aware of this sin and am so desperately striving to be better. I didn't even know I needed a new heart, but He knew. Jesus, full of compassion and new beginnings, knew just what I needed. Writing out these words and praying them over and over has done (and continues to do) a number on my heart:

"Father, reveal to me everything that I do that disappoints and grieves your Spirit. Show me Father, HOW I can be more like you. Help me to be a better reflection of You. Make me more like Your Son, Christ. "

Can I tell you a secret incase no one told you today?? You don't have to give in to satan and his desires anymore! Whether it's gossip that you struggle with or another sin, today can be your day of a fresh start. Starting over. A new heart. Am I saying that once you've been given a new heart you'll never struggle with said sin again? Of course not! You are human and until you get to heaven, you will be battling against satan and his army. I will too. But if you know Jesus then you have the victory and power through His name to overcome the desire to give in and the opportunity to be made new. It won't always be easy and it won't be convenient, but it will be worth it. Because Jesus is worth every inconvenience and every difficult moment. I believe in you and more importantly our Jesus believes in You. After all, He did die to make you (and me) new. 

I'll Take Authenticity Over Target and Starbucks Any Day

Last week I got vulnerable and wrote about my struggle of being a "doer" & "just" a housewife. 

If you missed the post and want to catch up, you can read that here. 

Since writing that post, 

I've been thinking about the importance and beauty of being vulnerable, real, and authentic with those around us. 

I believe too much of our worlds are forged through the lenses of what we want people to see and believe about us. Instead of being real and posting our struggles in hopes of finding encouragement from others who have similar stories; we pose with our painted on smiles, Starbucks cups, & Target shopping carts. Lets be real, behind all of the Instagram filters and perfectly posed pictures we are broken people with hurts, struggles, and discouragement. Things aren't always as they seem. 

Now don't get me wrong, not everything we write, post, & talk about has to be vulnerable and raw, because who wants to read the heavy all day long? Not me! I'm not saying you shouldn't post Starbucks and Target pictures or ones of your kids in their designer clothes, go for it! What I am saying is, what if for every 4 perfectly posed pictures, we posted one vulnerable one? One letting people know that our lives aren't perfect and that we're human too. One letting others know that the struggles they're facing and the hurt they're dealing with aren't just theirs to walk through. One letting people see who we really are and what some of our hard days look like.

  One letting people know that they are not alone. 

Too often satan drills in our minds that we're the only ones who face ____________ (fill in the blank with your struggle, discouragements, & hurts) and we forget that others have similar stories and walk similar paths. 

If there's anything I want you to know when you open this blog it's these two things: 

First, it's that you will find vulnerability and authenticity here. Will I only ever write heavy, thought-provoking posts? No ... because like I said, no one wants to read the heavy stuff every day. But you will find a girl who has daily struggles, many hurts, and more weaknesses than she lets on. You will stumble upon posts that talk about my battle with anxiety, my daily struggle with "doing" and feeling good enough, and the constant strength I have to pull from Jesus to overcome my self-esteem issues. 

You will find me being real. Being genuine. Being authentic.  

Second, I want you to know that you, yes YOU, can ALWAYS be vulnerable and real with me. If God has given me anything in life, He's given me an ear to listen to people's hurts and struggles. I know He's given me that for a reason. Maybe you are that reason. I want you to know that you can share your hurts and struggles with me. You can tell me your weaknesses and your pains. I want you to know that I am here for you. I want to pray for and encourage you. I want you to know that you are loved. 

Mostly I want you to know that you are not alone. 

You are never alone.

>>> "Share each other's burden's, and in this way obey the law of Christ." -Galatians 6:2 <<<

.... So You're "Just" a Housewife

About 1.5 to 2 years ago I told my husband I didn't think I could ever be a housewife. Before you start glaring at me if you are one, let me explain. I'll just be blatantly honest ... one of my biggest blessings/struggles is DOING. I'm a perfectionist and an overachiever. I always have been and I'm positive I always will be. I like to do. Do this, do that, & do e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g. else, because of what it does on the inside for me. It makes me feel accomplished. It makes me feel worthy. It makes me feel good enough. 

You don't have to tell me, I already know ... the Bible tells us that our worth is found in more than just who we are on the outside and what we do. Like I said, it's a struggle people. 

It's funny how we often find ourselves in the very situations we say we won't be in. If you ask me, God has a way of making us bite our own tongues. I'll give you one guess as to what my current job status is ... you guessed it, I'm a HOUSEWIFE.

Since quitting my job and becoming a housewife, I've heard some of these remarks more times than I can count: (Enjoy the responses I'm thinking in my head while said remarks are stated)
"So you're just a housewife?" Why yes, yes, I am JUST a housewife.
"Then WHAT do you do all day?!"  Well, I don't sit around eating bonbons while watching season 57 of Days of Our Lives if that's what you're thinking!!
"When are you going to find a job?" Like I've told you and every other person 23 times before: THIS is my job.. just because I don't slather on make-up and get in my car to drive to a work place, doesn't mean I don't do a job every day!

I'd be lying if I said these words didn't bother me and that it's been an easy adjustment. Often times I struggle with the mundane feelings I get from doing the same things every single day ... make the bed, fold the laundry, put the dishes away, make dinner, etc., etc., etc. Those things seem never ending and it's really hard to be content with where I am some days.

It's easy to feel like I'm not accomplishing much and my day-to-day tasks don't have purposeful meaning. But the other day I was working on said mundane tasks, when I felt so strongly in my spirit these words:

FIND JOY IN THE MUNDANE. 

Of course they were hard to swallow ... because really, what joy is there in scooping the litter box for what seems like the 85th time this week?? I'm thinking, okay God, if You want me to find joy in scooping the litter box or taking the garbage out, You're going to have to help me, that's for sure! But I know those words came from Jesus and for that I have to trust Him and the lesson He's trying to teach me.

I feel like there are so many teachable moments throughout our day-to-day lives. So many moments that God wants to speak to our situations and lighten our hearts with His words. He knew just what I needed to hear in that moment and for this season of life. Maybe it's what you need to hear to -- to find joy even in the mundane, every day, grind of life. To trust that He has you and knows where you are at this moment. To believe that what you're doing has meaning and purpose.

For the one, who like me, is a do-er and struggles with finding joy in the mundane there are so many lessons I feel like I could hone in on, on this post, for you and for me that God has been revealing as I've been writing. Like finding joy, self-worth and value, trusting Him; but I feel like He's been shouting this one at me these last few days and I need to share it. If you don't take anything else away from this post, at least take this 

>>>>>>>> <<<<<<<<<

.. When You Find Yourself THERE ..

Have you ever listened to a message, read a book, or watched a movie and couldn't get enough of it so you had to listen/read/watch it on replay over and over and over because it spoke directly to your heart and the season you're currently wading through? ... 

I listened to this message by Steven Furtick for what seems like the 20th time this morning and I could easily rewind and listen to it again and again. It's just THAT good. 

     In the message Pastor Steven uses Elijah's story from 1 Kings 17 -- the one where Elijah prays for the rain to cease for 3 years and how God used Elijah's prayer to bring about a drought in the country of Zarephath; Elijah meets a specific widow sent by God whose son is dying because of the drought; God uses the widow to minister to Elijah, as He prepares Elijah to minister to her and ultimately heal her dying son, THERE. .. I promise the full story makes more sense than my quick rendition... if you'd like to read it for yourself you can do so here. 

I believe God's point in 1 Kings 17 was to show Elijah (and us!) that He will find himself in places and seasons he doesn't expect to be in life, but to trust that God has him THERE for a purpose. Had Elijah not been in Zarephath at that time, at that specific well, looking for water from that specific widow, He wouldn't have been used by God to bring about healing for the widow's son. Elijah HAD TO BE THERE for all of this to play out the way God meant for it to... 

Do you get where I'm going with this -----------------------------

Whether your "there" is that you've found yourself waiting for God to bring your significant other into your life and it's feels like it will never happen; you're working a 9-5 job that seems pointless and you're miserable; you're facing heartbreak and hurt over a broken relationship; or your longing/praying for something that seems impossible and there aren't many clear answers.. 

Like Elijah, we will all, at some point, find ourselves in seasons of being "THERE"

From the mouth of Pastor Steven:

"THERE is somewhere that you have to be.

It has to be a part of your journey. 

You have to be THERE. 

THERE you will see Him." 

Friends, if this at all resonates within you, hear this truth --

God has you THERE for a purpose .. a purpose far deeper than yourself; far deeper than your own blessings and benefits. You aren't there out of coincidence, mishap, or chance. You didn't stumble there randomly. You are "there" for a DISTINCT REASON. He knew before you knew, that you would one day be there. It's THERE that He is preparing you for a deeper purpose and a higher calling. It's THERE that He is growing your faith and molding you into a vessel for Him. It's THERE that He is moving within you, ministering to your heart, so that you can minister to another who walks a similar path in the future. 

He knows where your "there" is, because HE IS THERE.